Buried Treasure
Hun-Grrr says, "Hmm." Hun-Grrr says, "Me need help with little project." Hun-Grrr says, "Who /BAD ENOUGH MECH/ to help Hun-Grrr?" Catechism says, "Unclassified?" Hun-Grrr says, "It very unclassified." Catechism says, "I'm there, then, dude." Hun-Grrr says, "If you bad enough mech to help me Hun-Grrr, you home on beacon. That mean Him Ransack too. Going to need him." Hun-Grrr says, "Oh, whip lady?" Hun-Grrr says, "Bring first aid patch kit thingy with you please." Catechism says, "Yes?" Ransack says, "But...but...Pluto! Weapons! Beautiful weapons!" Hun-Grrr even said please. Hun-Grrr says, "Him Ransack show up and me not eat face. Think that /compelling/ argument." Catechism says, "Uh... uhm... I'll try not to break it. I'm not real good with del-i-cate materials." Hun-Grrr says, "It okay if it pretty screwed up.." Mojave Desert Once part of an ancient inland sea, the Mojave desert was formed by volcanic action and by materials deposited by the Colorado River. Now, it is a vista of mountains, boulders, washes, joshua trees, and cacti. Clean air, sunny days, star filled nights, outstanding views, abundant wildlife, rockclimbing, hiking, biking, and relaxation make it a favorite day trip for the city-weary residents of Los Angeles. Edwards Air Force Base once attracted visitors to see the space shuttles landing, but the base was shut down years ago during the federal government defense cutbacks. Most of the visitors, though, are simply passing through on their way to and from the City of Sin, Las Vegas. Hun-Grr drops down onto all fours with his torso rotating into position and both heads coming up. He is now a monsterous looking dragon! Catechism says, "Medical kits are more Fulcrum's deal." Hun-Grrr says, "Him apparently not bad enough mech to answer!" Catechism transforms to her jet mode, which is quite astoundingly simple for the coneheaded model that she is. Ransack says, "I'm on my way!" Ransack has arrived. Gigantic Locust flutters down out of the sky, coming to a stop on the desert sands near the Terrorcon. "Okay, I made it. See, no face-eating needed." The locust's legs kick a little through the sand, trying to shake off some of the particles and just getting more. "Grrgh." He eventually gives up and turns his head, red insect eyes landing on the truck part. "So, what are we doing here, anyway? And how soon will I get to shoot something?" Lean Mean Eating Machine glances at Ransack. "Me glad you here. Me have /extra/ special job for you. It require skill and craftiness and special insecticon strength! And whip lady perfect for job too!" He indicates the landing fireball with his left head as he snuffles around. Eventually he finds a big rock and transforms into robot mode, reaching into the crate and handing Ransack a Decepticon sized roundmouth shovel. "You transform and dig, right here, until you hit something hard." He points at an area of sand. Hun-Grr rises up on his dragon heads to form feet as his torso rotates to form a menacing robot! XF-35B Astral Lightning circles overhead several times to bleed speed, in a wide, lazy spiral. Then, the XF-35B comes in for a landing, her frame making noises like 'pop' and 'tink' as it cools. Finally, she touches down, a vertical landing courtesy of her lift fan. She collapse sup into her robot mode and pops open her cockpit, pulling out... a medical kit that looks like it was /microwaved/. XF-35B Astral Lightning transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position. "...Dig. You need me to /dig/." Ransack's mouth clatters angrily for a second until he remembers who he's talking to and how much of a bad idea complaining would be. Oh well, digging's...KIND of like destroying, and as long as he can tell himself back, then it's not that bad. He quickly snaps upright into his robot mode and takes the shovel in hand. Ransack's humanoid legs unfold as he stands up, shifting into his robot mode. Ransack plunges the shovel into the sand and gets to work, tossing the first load over his shoulder. Yeah, sorta like destroying. Destroying absolutely nothing interesting. Hun-Grrr isn't going to dig. He's too dignified for that. "Me want you to do it because you /STRONG/ Insecticon. Now dig fast! Me lost something under there and it it time to find it again. Me went to great effort to loose it, too. But me sigh, some things no stay gone." He then looks at Whip-Lady and stares at the medical kit. " . . . you no kidding. How you manage to destroy that? How come cockpit not environ-ementally sealed?!" Catechism observes Hun-Grrr's leadership skills - flatter Ransack to get him to do something Ransack doesn't want to do? The ex-Seeker shrugs and explains, "My cockpit is sealed!" She closes it with a hiss." It's just, uh..." She rubs the back of her cone. "I'm not authorised to have a medical kit. This is a factory second. The probability chart says that the contents only have a 1 in 4 chance of killing the patient, though! I like those odds." Ransack couldn't disagree with Hun-Grrr. He was definitely the strongest, far superior to his other squadmates and those other three (when they were still Insecticons, anyway). The compliment combined with a slowly growing appreciation of the subtle displacement of order that came with digging inspired him to speed up his pace, more sand piling up behind him as a good sized hole started to form. Hun-Grrr leans over the hole for a moment or two. "Okay." He says. "Him strong insecticon. Him doing really good. Think maybe him have about twenty more feet to go, so dig real fast. No want to be out here for long. Me lost something here that nobody wanted anyway." He looks towards Catechism for a moment or two. " . . .this one interesting factory second. Oh, well. You maybe fix thing I lost if it need it? It can't be too bad." "Something no one wants?" Ransack sunk further and further into his masterfully dug hole, but his voice could still be heard. "We're not digging up some kind of hidden weapon, then? What could be important enough to get and so unimportant you drop it off in the fragging middle of nowhere?" His question was punctuated with another toss of sand onto the stack. Hun-Grrr may be making the fallacious assumption that because Catechism is a Token Female that she must be nuturing and a medic. Usually in this kind of cartoon, that's a decent assumption. However, as far as the current crop of Seekers go, it's actually the burly guy with a beard that's the medic. "Fix... thing? Hun-Grrr, did you bury radioactive waste out here?" It's a desert. It's a good place to bury radioactive waste! "If by 'fix', you mean, 'make explode', probably." Ransack pokes around at his find with the shovel. Whatever he's struck, it's metal. For a second, the thought that Hun-Grrr has buried some sort of delicious metal to hide it from his fellow Terrorcons and invited Ransack along to share it passes through his processor, but is dismissed once Ransack realizes the scenario involves Hun-Grrr sharing. Also, it's really stupid. He stomps his foot a little and calls back out of the hole. "Hey, whatever it is, I think I've got it!" "Climb out itsel...Did you bury a /another Decepticon/ down here?" Ransack's voice contains no actual concern, simply curiousity as he starts wailing on the metal surface with the shovel, getting the tool bent very quickly. "Wow, what did he do to make you that mad?" Catechism narrows her optics as it is revealed that /someone/ is buried down there. She points out to Ransack, "He /did/ call in a demolitionist to do a repair job, Ransack. He can't be too concerned about whoever is down there." Blot Monster's systems begin to react to stimulus. He's been offline burried in the desert for sometime now. He didn't think to himself to shut down his systems did it on thier own luckily. Blot would have been content staring into the sand all this time....afterall he was ordered to stay put. The head soon wriggles itself free enough to be seen in the bottom of the hole, "Him Blot do as him Hun-Grrr say!" His tiny arms struggle to dig more of himself free but it's practically an effort in futility. "BLOT here. BLOT do good." Hun-Grrr doesn't answer either question, just peers into the hole and waits -- lettig the others discover the truth for themselves! Ransack groans, briefly considering continuing the shovel beating but eventually deciding against it. This time, anyway. "Great. It's Blot." He looks upward towards the rim of the hole. "I guess this makes a little more sense now. I wish you would have warned me so I could rip out my olfactory sensors first, though." Catechism bets Ransack has it worse than she does, being an Insecticon and all, when it comes to smells, but even she does scrunch up her face a bit. She looks sidelong at Hun-Grrr and points out, "Well. You /did/ bury hazardous waste out here." Hun-Grrr sort of hmmphs at Catechism. "And it look like he okay, so you no have to use cooked first aid thingy. That suck tailpipe. Wanted to see it!" He peers down into the hole. "Yes, him Blot do good. Him no leave! Get extra treat." He pauses, thinking. "Him Blot climb out when can. Is dry? Sand was supposed to make dry! Or is wet again?" Blot Monster continues to wriggle itself free of the sand prison. The little arms have finally dug themselves loose. He's about half way free now and there is no smell. Blot doesn't /STINK/?!?! His usual oozing glop is dried up and crusted over with sand....seems the soak in the desert for a few months has cured him??? "Why you hit BLOT?" he eyes the insecticon with a shovel. Blot hasn't eaten in some time now. He looks back up to his leader a toothy smile forms on the creatures face, "Him BLOT dry!" Catechism tilts her head to the side and assures, "I can use faulty medical supplies on your troops some other time, Hun-Grrr." She can do that any time, really! The ex-Seeker pauses. Wait. Does Blot actually smell okay right now? She demands, "What witchcraft is this, Hun-Grrr?" Ransack just stares at Blot. He can't even come up with a response. There's no smell. If the Insecticon was the type to believe in miracles, then this would definitely rank up there. "I'm never questioning you again, Hun-Grrr." Now no longer worried about getting the monster's horrible stink on him, Ransack takes one of Blot's arms and starts helping (as in yanking) the Terrorcon free. Hun-Grrr attempts to nudge Ransack in the shoulders with his foot. Okay, well, given his lack of ability of knowing his own strength it's more like he kicks Ransack between the shoulder blades. "Good. This what me do to bots that annoy me. Anyway!" He declares proudly to both the insecticon and Catechism. "This me latest attempt to cure him Blot. Me figure sand absorb all gunk and make it dry. Um, him Ransack, maybe not tug so hard, you pull sand crust off and . . . " Too late....the arm Ransack's been yanking on begins to crack open. As a chunk breaks free an even more foul, rank, disgusting, nasty and all those other words to describe horrid smell is unleashed from it's slumber. It's actually worse than ever. Months of being sealed up has somehow made the worst smell ever even worse. Blot does manage to get free with some assistance though. "BLOT free!" he exclaims waving his stubby little arms excitedly. Catechism brings her arm up, bent, in an instinctive block. It does no good against the speed of /smell/. She kicks off into the air, desperately searching out a fesher scent. Even week old carrion would be an improvement! "Ugh, Hun-Grrr, let's just raid an air freshener company and have Blot /bathe/ in it." Ransack growls as he works on pulling Blot free, but finds his progress interrupted as Hun-Grrr's mighty foot smacks into his shoulder. "HEY!" the Insecticon shouts as he finds himself falling forward onto his rescuee...just as the caked sand cracks open. With Ransack's faceplate right there. The normally brave and determined Decepticon lets out a scream not unlike a human infant. Ransack says, "AAAAAIIIIYYAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!" Hun-Grrr cringes. "Urgh." He says, putting his hand to his olfactory sensors. "Whip-lady, Whip-lady!" He calls. "Come back! Come back! Me have master plan!" He looks down at the tangle of Ransack and Blot and steps back from them. "Him Blot like to give hugs." He warns Ransack. Then waves at Catechism some more. "Me have plan! Um, we bury Blot again, you get /awesome/ new altmode that bitey things . . me think you make /excellent/ Loch Ness Monster, or maybe Chimera thing . . .and you be leg! You have good resume!" Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Problems?" Ransack says, "BLOT. ARM. FACE. STENCH. HORRIBLE. WANT. TO. KILL." Catechism does come back down, against her better judgement, kicking up a cloud of dust as she does. Then, she duly facepalms at Hun-Grrr's suggestion that she become Abominus's leg. "As much as I like kicking Autobots in the skidplate, I don't quite think it would work so well. Vindicator was decomissioned for mental instability, right?" Catechism, for the record, would be a thunder serpent, out of Northwest Coast mythology. Shadow says, "..." Blot Monster's already making the motions to thank his new hero. The cracked section of his arms only grows with the little celebration the sand dried slop falling off and being flung around the pit. Before Ransack can get away he'd like to thank his brave rescuer. "BLOT thank bug." His little arms go out to give Ransack a hug. "Him let BLOT out." If he succeeds with the hug even more of the dried muck will fall loose and the new slop that's rapidly replacing it just might hang around on the Insecticon. Combat: Blot Monster strikes Ransack with his BLOT LUV (Grab) attack! Ransack's entire body goes rigid. You'd think what with being a big metal robot that it would be as rigid as possible already, but oh no, it somehow gets /even stiffer/. He can feel the horrible ooze press and stick to his armor, and even worse he can smell it. With a strained whir, his fists clench together. It's going to take a lot to get his mind off this. At least the destruction of a major metropolitan area. Hun-Grrr backs away slowly for a moment or two. One might notice his sonic stun gun is in his hand -- just in case he has to save Ransack. Apparently, the Terrorcon Commander has seen this sort of thing before and it isn't pretty. The mental damage stays with them forever. "Oh, and Abominus picture of sanity." He says to Catechism. "Me think him Abominus syco-gist's definition for him who have it togeather and is perfectly happy with life." He looks between the two. "Now, now." He says to Blot. "No hug bug too much. Bug will get twitchy again. You know how things get twitchy when you hug. Come on, we get you to medic to look at." Ransack twitches. But only his antennae. The rest of his body is simply filled with murderous rage. Blot Monster hrumps and lets go of Ransack. He does enjoy giving hugs but it's a rare occurrence....first hardly anyone gives him a reason and second if they do they're sure to stay far far away. Oh what a glorious day it is free and a hug. "BLOT let him go." He releases the Insecticon before too much damage is done. Catechism gets distracted by thinking about lightning snakes. Hmm. Lightning snakes! They get dropped down and go fry whales! Wait, what? She shakes her head and looks about, dazed by the stench of Blot. Catechism asks, "Wait, what?" Vintage Army Jeep drives through the middle of the freaking desert, off-roading to the highest degree. From all the bounces and jostles, his 'driver' mannequin has come loose and is upside down in the driver's seat, so it looks like a particularly brazen pair of legs is driving the jeep at breakneck speed without a real sense of direction. Anyone who knows Swindle might conjecture that he's on the run from either the cops or one of his arms deals gone bad. Hun-Grrr hmms. It's Swindle. He . . hates Swindle. "Blot! Blot! Blot! Blot! Blot! Blot!" He says repeatedly; apparently excited. He steps forward and points. "Him Swindle have excellent bargain for you. The more you hug him Swindle, the better bargain he give you. Quick! Go hug him swindle!" Ransack leaps out of the hole, thrusters igniting as he uses his newfound freedom to speed the frag away from the smelly beast. However, instead of landing by Hun-Grrr and Catechism...he keeps flying. Flying and flying, off into the distance. It's not until he spies a scenic patch of cacti and a happily hopping family of jackrabbits nearby that the smelly, enraged Decepticon finally shuts his jets off...and drops directly onto the plants with a massive stomp. The rabbits leap quickly away as Ransack draws his blaster and begins firing wildly in seemingly random directions. After a few cathartic moments of sonic blasts and exploding sand, Ransack calmly flies back over to the group like nothing happened. Blot Monster quickly scrambles free from the pit and lumbers off towards the approaching Jeep. He's not sure what a bargain is but he sure wants one....a better one at that. Really it just took Hun-Grrr telling him but this added bargain he's extra excited. Two hugs in one day.....this could quite possibly be Blot's best day ever! "Slow for BLOT!" he calls out to the jeep lumbering right towards it. Vintage Army Jeep plows right past the collection of Decepticons, and is so startled that he tries to turn sharply. The jeep flips right over on its roof, then transforms. Swindle is on his feet immediately. "Holy Zombie Robot Jesus!" he exclaims, smacking his forehead with his palm. "You guys scared the exhaust right out of.." he trails off, looking quizzically at Blot. "Uh.. hey there, buddy, where do you think you're going? Getting awfully close there, don't you think?" He holds his hands, palms out, starting to back up. "Now let's not do anything I'll regret instantly!" Gentlemen, you've been had! That's no jeep, it's a Swindle! The jeep doesn't actually have a roof. Or even a roll bar. Its figurative roof. The top part. The side that's supposed to be opposite to the ground. Hun-Grrr by this point has sort of backed off, and curiously dissapears! He hates Swindle and has left Blot to hug him! Blot Monster is shocked Swindle actually slowed for him. His tiny brain figures they really missed him. "BLOT have to get close for hug him Swindle." He doesn't slow a bit still lumbering at full speed. With luck Swindle doesn't realize what's going on till it's too late. Blot's covered in an especially rank aged glop....possibly the foulest smell in existence *EVER*. Combat: Blot Monster strikes Swindle with his BLOT LUV (Grab) attack! Ransack would yell out "Swindle! Look out!" or something but he's too busy frantically trying to scrub the foul goo off him with his locust leg kibble. It is not going too well. Swindle stares like a deer at approaching headlights. Squish. "Oh. Your. Various. Gods." Shocked, he stands there dumbfounded for a few seconds, in Blot's tender embrace. Then, squirming, he shoves at Blot (big mistake, since he gets goop all over his hands) and manages to slip free, stumbling backwards. "I.. I... wow. So this is what death is like, huh? Stuck in the desert for an eternity, getting hugged by Blot." Blink blink. "I think I may just wander off and collapse under a rock in a puddle of my own sick." Hun-Grrr says, "Him, Swindle? Are you here?" Catechism actually finds herself pitying Swindle. And Ransack, too, even though Ransack has vanished to go harass rabbits. Hun-Grrr says, "Me sent Blot to hug you because me hate you." Hun-Grrr says, "Me just wanted you to know." Swindle says, "You're a heartless mechanism, sir. Bravo." Blot says, "BLOT get bar-gain now?" Blitzwing says, "I tell ya, sometimes I think you're just going to talk each other to death!" Ransack says, "Why can't I be cleeaaaaaaaannnnnn?!" Cutthroat says, "Because you touch yourself at night." Darkwing says, "Just at night? I didn't think Ransack could let go of his gun..." Blitzwing says, "Cause you're a grunt, and if you're not getting dirty, then you're not doing your job."" Swindle says, "I'm shocked!" He doesn't sound shocked. "Have you no love for your fellow Con? No sympathy? No camaraderie? Are we not all brothers, fighting for an incredibly self-serving yet in some ways interpretably noble cause? But it's okay. Swindle forgives you. That's just how great and honorable Swindle is!" Darkwing says, "You say that, then you'll just raise your prices depanding on how long it takes you to get clean." Blitzwing makes a sound that suggests suspicion of Swindle's entire being. "Well, I'll tell ya this, you do love the other guys...especially when they're already lying around in pieces! Ha! Swindle says, "Shush, you! No one likes you!" Ransack says, "There's a difference in getting dirty from the ashes of your enemy's burning city and getting hugged by the /smelliest thing in the universe/" Blot Monster is sooo excited now he gets a bargain....whatever that is and he gets to give another hug. "BLOT want bar-gain now." he demands. He's given the hug and now he wants the goods Hun-Grrr said he'd get a bargain for hugging Swindle. Cutthroat says, "Me Cutthroat hate you all, hope see sparking wreck in ditch one day so Cutthroat can burn it, rwka!" Mojave Desert Once part of an ancient inland sea, the Mojave desert was formed by volcanic action and by materials deposited by the Colorado River. Now, it is a vista of mountains, boulders, washes, joshua trees, and cacti. Clean air, sunny days, star filled nights, outstanding views, abundant wildlife, rockclimbing, hiking, biking, and relaxation make it a favorite day trip for the city-weary residents of Los Angeles. Edwards Air Force Base once attracted visitors to see the space shuttles landing, but the base was shut down years ago during the federal government defense cutbacks. Most of the visitors, though, are simply passing through on their way to and from the City of Sin, Las Vegas. Contents: Swindle Ransack Catechism Blot Monster